Thought I was dipping a toe in but....

Do you remember when you were a kid and it was the first day you could actually swim?  Whether it was your first trip of the season to the lake or the first official day the pool opened, or maybe even your neighbor's pool?


I would literally pray for the first day the pool opened.  During February or early March, I would some times resort to scooting my 'tanning' chair as far in the sun on our tiny porch as humanly possible, just  to feel the warmth of the sun on my skin.  We lived in apartments, way up on the side of a huge hill that looked down directly at the pool.  So I would stare at it with a longing that still is a part of my soul.  


Finally!  The day arrives, it sunny, 'broiling' hot, which was probably 60 and I was dying to jump in that pool.   I would walk all the way down the million track ties to get down there, lay everything on my chair, look up at the sun, get warm enough to have just a hint of hot and walk over to the edge.  I would put my toe in and it would turn blue.  FFFFFreezing cold water.  You remember.  And as you stand there mustering up your courage to walk down the nice little concrete steps to slowly take in this suicide, someone inevitably pushes you in.  

Every cell in your body is trying to flee. Not one little part of your body is happy about this sudden ice bath.  And when you come up for air you make the sound of someone who has been under for nearly a minute.  Mouth gapping like a bass, eyes as wide as a deer in headlights.  


Secretly though,  you're happy it's over.  You're relieved that someone made the decision for you. Otherwise, it would have been an excruciating exercise in how to freeze your body up to your waist, run back out and try again for God knows how long. Are you getting the metaphor here for trying something new?  I'm a crafty one, eh?


That is how I feel at this very moment in my life.  I was sticking my toe into the pond here and have been hurled into a shockingly cold and exciting world.  Having NO idea what pushed me into and being so grateful and scared at the same time.  

The book(s), the show, the textiles, it's all coming at me with the same force.  I just hope it doesn't pull me under.... not to worry.  I am a very strong swimmer.  Ask my kids. 


This is all making my body react as well.  I'm walking (with friends, just in case I pull the face first) 5 days a week and haven't had a flippy floppy in my heart in three days! Woo Hoo!  And I'm sleeping.  Really sleeping.  I put my lovely sleepy cd on (I've gone back to the Classics. No, not REO Speedwagon, but Mozart, Chopin, Vivaldi) have lots of warm and toasty covers on and knock out.  It's marvelous.  Really, really marvelous.  


And my soul has had some uplifting news of gargantuan proportion; my friend does not have cancer!  I may have said that in the last blog. Sorry, if I did. I'm just grateful beyond expression.


The other part of my soul is a bit shy.  I'm showing my wares here. But it's ok.  It's good to be 'uncomfortable' (love that word now).  

Like Tracy Chapman sings
I want to wake up and know where I'm going/Say I'm ready/Say I'm ready/ where the rivers are overflowing and/I'll be ready.   Go listen.. I've finally figured out how to put links in ,


Tracy Chapman - I'm Ready


So the soul focus today is to organize the Valentine's Day Room In the Inn.  I've signed up for all of it except for transportation and the overnight.  Dinner, washing sheets/towels, bagged lunches and I'm going to get the kids and their classmates to make cards for these men.  And throw in some chocolate! 


For me, I love valentine's because it's GIVING.  Who doesn't need to feel loved?  But I especially like helping someone feel loved, important, cared for, noticed.  Someone who doesn't even know your name.  THAT is love.  

Like I was saying to Ruth yesterday, "giving and loving are something you innately want to do, but watching by example and practicing are what make it a reality".  Ruth is my book writer, my friend, my sparkly eye that knows better..... She is a good gal and I am thrilled to be on this journey with her.


Ok Ok Now for the food part.  I've been a slacker about that. 
We had chicken fricassee night before last with our very good friends, the Rockey's.  Tonight we will be having salmon with a ginger/orange napa cabbage and tomorrow night a bit of steak with this yummy mushroom risotto that looks incredible. Have never made it... Mwaaahhaaahaa. Now, THAT'S the Joy of Cooking!