Into The Wild

I sat down last night and watched a movie that I have been DYING to see for years now, Into The Wild.  It's directed by Sean Penn and the music is by Eddie Vedder.  I have to confess that I used to think Eddie Vedder was possessed by Satin himself because of the way he looked when he sang, but in the past few years have converted to a fan.  Mainly because of the soundtrack to this film.  Pathetic, but true.

I must say I think we've all had the notion that this young man had.  Let me back up.  The quickie of this movie is a young man who graduates from Emory (purely to satisfy his parents' desires) and seeks out the great adventures of life throughout the U.S.  He gives away the remainder of his college fund ($25000) to a  non-profit and makes his way from Virginia to Mexico to Alaska finally.  Alaska being his real destination.  He feels that society has seduced us all into 'occupations' and that money makes you needier. and thus rejects society as a whole and treks off into the wild.  Alone.  He meets many fascinating people and characters along the way.  He loves life in the wild, lives on a 'magic bus' and then does something I would do; ate the wrong berry and died.  I didn't ruin it for you.  His writing throughout this is poetic and beautiful.  All of this is a true story.  Which both inspires you and saddens you.  Some of the scenes though would put Bear Grills to shame and I've watched Bear Grills drink his own urine, so be prepared.   Which brings me back to the notion.

We all have had that moment in time, as a child, when we realized that money was required.  I think we all had that thought "why don't we just all trade (didn't know the word barter then). Why do we have to have money?"  We realized for the first time that life isn't equal.  And the things we took for granted every single day like food, water, heat, air, gas, a car, school, our barbies, came at a 'cost'.  That money drove the train.  It was very disheartening for me.  It was against everything everyone one was teaching me both at school and on the billboards.  Love is all you need.  Do unto others. It broke my heart as I'm sure it broke many a heart.

So what does this have to do with Body, Art and Soul?  Well, It delves into the soul area as well as the Art.  First of all the cinematography in this film was breathtaking, as you can imagine.  The music is haunting and this young man's poetic prose has stuck in my insides.  At first I thought "I can completely remember wanting to do that at his age.  Maybe not to Alaska, but travel the world with just a backpack."  Ok and lipstick.   But my POINT is, THIS is my into the wild. This journey I have been on throughout my life is my 'wild'.  No comments on that one, please.

Most especially though right now.  My wild is a deeply personal journey with many people/charactors along the way.  Yes, I need money to purchase my canvases and my beautiful new easel. Yes I need money to purchase food and have electricity and heat and air.  But we don't "need" so many things.  I didn't want anything for Christmas this year except spending money for travel this Summer.  Not a lot of takers on this.  Which I find incredulous and odd at the same time.

I think experiences are much more meaningful than ipods or iphones.  Although I covet my friend's iphone.  There. I am human.  Back on track here.  When you drop dead, God does NOT ask for a credit check.  And when you close your eyes you should remember beautiful beaches, mountains, a small flower, your children's laughter, the touch of someone's hand, your grandmother's scent.

That fits into the Art part today.  I have a lot going on art wise, but my painting background for the next two paintings will be a. France (from this Summer) and b. Kieve (from my husband's trip this Fall).  They make my paintings so much more meaningful.

So onto the good news for Art.  It appears this Friday will be a big fork in the road for me.  I not only will be meeting with my dear friend about her books, but I will also be meeting with a mutual contact about the textiles.  Big path changing.  I wonder if it's a full moon?  :)

So the body thing.  Today is going to be a 'girl' day.  I look like a feral child because I've been tending this fire so much (ashes ashes we all fall down).  So it's a hair conditioning, face mask, yummy smelling lotion, cucumber water sort of day.

I did manage to work out getting enough samples to get me through 3 weeks of my meds.  Woo Hoo! Which should make us all happier people on the planet.

Now for the food.  I have a terrific friend who bakes the most disgusting looking cookies on the planet (I refer to them as the POO cookies) but taste divine.  I myself, don't usually mix lavender, ginger, and eye of newt into my baking, but she has won me over.  So I got a bit cocky and rushed through the recipe or rolled oats, dark chocolate and dried cherries cookie recipe and um, well, now I think I have a rival POO cookie.  It's maybe the POO to YOU TOO cookie.  It actually tastes incredible, but I would run if I saw it passed to me on a plate.  So Cheerio to you Sarah!  I bow down to the Master.  I think I'll move on to a bread or cake sort of thing.

For tonight I am cooking a turkey chili recipe that would warm up a polar bear.  And since it's supposed to snow, I think it only appropriate.   Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!

Those who say do not know, Those who know do not say

This is going to be an odd post. I'll warn you.  Some left over's from yesterday and today is not unfolding quite as I had hoped, planned or expected.

Body - Well, I almost had a damn heart attack at Wallgreen's yesterday.  This is not so good for the body, as you can imagine.  I posted this on my Facebook "If the drugs you are prescribed by  your doctor cause you to have a heart attack, can you sue them?  Or should they just install fainting couches in all pharmacies? "  Mixed response so far.  But the lovely aspect of that moment at Walgreen's was that I found out one of the drugs I take daily is now $450.00 because we switched to a health savings plan.  I didn't quite 'get' what that meant. This, I can tell you, is not good for your body, art or soul.

 I'm beginning to believe it's a 'savings plan' because you are too scared to find out what the costs are before you hit your deductible.  In the long run it will be good, given the amount of visits and prescriptions I require each year but in the short run, I might need oxygen. I even unloaded the groceries and said to the refrigerator "Enjoy them.  It might be a while before they're back".  Yes, I said I talked TO the refrigerator.

I did make my appointments with my doctors though and I actually got a full night's rest.  BIG!!  I am also doing this goofy 5 things of 25 3 times today.  You do 5 things for 25 reps 3 times during one day.  Sit-ups, lunges, curls, you get the pictures.  Is practicing not fainting one them? :)

Art - I'm leaving after posting this to pick up my brand spankin' new easel.  Found one for 55% off at Plaza (again, I love them) and I'm going to cram it in the back of my marshmallow (my white Hyundai Santa Fe) then pick up a friend so that she doesn't have to drive a baby blue Ford something and pick her child up from school (that's part of the soul thing; helping others).

But the HUGE thing that happened was last night at dinner with the four J's  (Jim, Jeff, Justin, Julia) , me and Emma.  It seems that one of the J's knows someone who is trying to break into the textile market here in the States and needs help with access, marketing and possibly textile design!!!!  I just checked my email and received their numbers (digits as the under 30 say) and I shall be setting that up tomorrow.

The last thing I did was to contact my friend who has written the children's books to set up a time for her to come look at my paintings, graphic design and see if this could gel out for both of  us.

All in all. Very good Art day, which helps my soul, which then relaxes my body.  Are you getting this yet?

OK, so the soul part.  My soul was a bit achy this a.m. as I wasn't quite as forthcoming with my heart issues and ended up hurting someone.  It was not intentional.  I just didn't think that having an arhythmea    5 times in a row was that big of a deal, until my best friend said "Um, you need to go to your doctor.  You haven't had those since before your surgery".  She is married to a heart surgeon.  OK OK

You have to understand that I really don't think dying is that big of a deal.  Don't get me wrong. I would miss ANY ONE of my friends and family.  I would mourn horribly for some of them, but death is a part of life.  And on the other hand, if I died, well, so be it.  I don't fear it. I didn't fear it when I was given the big death sentence.  Plus, I think I'd be a great ghost. I've already told my kids that I would haunt them in a happy way (smiley faces in the mirrors with steam, open my favorite books  like the Poison Wood Bible, rearrange their underwear drawers).  And yes, they think that's creepy.

But I don't think any of us really 'leave' anything. We are all so connected, ALL of us.  And then there is the thought that I would come back as something.  I would probably be a hairless dog.  Ugly, freezing, and allergic to myself.  So you see, I don't take any of this seriously.  When it's your time; it's YOUR time.  End of story.

So what am I going to do today to help others and my soul?  Already mentioned the assistance with the car thing.  I am going to talk to my step sister here in a second to confirm a Louisville trip this Saturday to talk about the well being of my father and step mother.  It is weighing on my soul very heavily.  It will lighten my soul immensely to know we have a plan in place that will help the two of them.

My step mother has been an absolute rock in my life.  I call her a walking little Jesus Christ.  She's only 5'1 but spiritually is larger than whomever the world's tallest person is.  She has nudged me back on my path throughout my life and helped me through one of the most difficult things in my life (and it wasn't my illness).  Now she has alzheimer's.  It's not to the point of a 'home' yet but it's to the point where we need to make sure she's ok and not by herself while Dad is flying around for Food For The Poor.

HE, on the other hand has a degenerative lung disease that is slowly killing him.  Which of course, is killing part of my soul.  One of the most appropriate and funniest things my Dad ever said to me was when I was a Freshman in college at UK.  It was really the first time since I was a young child that we had spent so much time together.  He looked at me and said "I am sorry.  Damn. It's hard enough being me and being a man, I can't imagine what it's like being me and being a woman. "  HA!  So the trip to Louisville is key to the soul.

But one of the things I'm doing today encompasses it all; body, art and soul.  I am baking two batches of cookies; rolled oats with cherries and chocolate and rolled oats with ginger.  YUM!

Love that picture of my Dad because not only does he not LOOK like a priest but his horse apparently doesn't think much of the conversation at hand.

Oops! Forgot.  Dinner last night was pan seared snapper with a mediterranean ragout (basically thinly sliced red potatoes, olives, artichoke hearts, tomatoes, garlic and lemon) and spinach salad with apples and goat cheese with a pomegranate vinegarette.  Did I spell that correctly?